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Monday, May 31, 2004
But its Manly
I ... at one time questioned my (at the time) girlfriend regarding the size of my penis. Being a guy and all, I worry about it's size and want to make sure it pleases her. So after asking, I was not told it was big, I was not told it was small, I wasn't even told it was a good size. Nope, the response I received was that it was a manly penis. Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean ... honestly.
And so, I traverse this world (and probably the next) with a not big, not small, not average, but manly yes I said it ... manly penis. And with the might of my oh so manly penis, I hope to titty bang my way into a new someone special. Or at the very least get laid.
Leave your mark
Thursday, May 27, 2004
The Latest
As we near the end of the month, I am once again reminded of that classic phrase; "God hates me." (Sorry Sam). Now although I have enough brain matter left in my skull to realize the utter ubsurdity of that statement, it still feels right now and again. Like my being in the hole for 10 g's. Now one of my biggest gripes to date when it comes to money matters has been with my father, whom has (according to him) payed his girlfriends way out of 10-G holes three times in the decade plus they've been together. Why do I care? Because I haven't seen anything in the general vicinity of that kind of support. Now I'm not gonna say I deserved it, I mean, I feel as his son a little help would be nice, and I feel I should equal up to his gf, but I also understand his point of me needing to do things myself and be worthy of help. I mean, I slouched off in school bigtime after 5th grade (I was in all Talented and Gifted classes through 5th, then got dumped into regular middle school with the druggies and the punks and got scared stupid) and ok, so the man is wary of putting money into me going to college. So he offers me a deal where I pay my way in, and every semester I pass, he'll pay for. Problem was, no funds to get in. So with a cheesy job in hand and a possible school prospect on the horizon, I had to move out of his "house" and in with my gf at the time just to keep my own shit together. As it happened, the stress (as dumb as it sounds I can't attribute it to anything else) of school, work, and a gf whipped my ass and I started getting sick all the time. Betweeen that and no funds (I was in a Specialized School so "semesters" didn't work the same) I had to drop out, and then a few days later I was fired from my job. So now 7 years later, after 3 years of gf and other BS, I'm 10 g's in the crapper. Purely my own fault, basically CC debt. I've decided I don't ever want a CC again if I can ever get rid of the piece of crap I got, and I'm finally getting some sense. I still live in the ex's house (after we've been split for nearly 4 years), I'm driving a fucked up 90 Bronco 2, and I'm hoping to make it past my "curse" of no longer than a year per job with my latest place of employment (only 2 months to go!). So after riding in my crapfest truck, Dad finally says to send him CC info and "he'll do the rest". Now after getting dissed for all these years, and all my pleading to no one in particular about how I'm ready to go straight, there's a brief glimpse of hope that father will make a substantial offering to the "your son is a fuck up help him once please" fund. Today I recieve an email about a posted payment. I didn't Net pay yet, which means my check and my dad's offering have arrived. So heart racing, I pull up Quicken 2004 ready to log the transaction, I load IE and the providian site, and login... The excitement and tension build, and then the page loads, and my original thought proves correct. $250. In the world of Keith debt, 250 covers one and twp/thirds months finance charges on that bill. Now I can't say I was too disapointed. After all, Dad taught me well. I'm a realist, and that basically means I figure shit's always gonns be the worst, that way it's either what I expect or better. Yes, I will always have the $30,000 hanging over my head. I could totally see the first time. She was struggling, your helping her get her shit together, cool. As a kid I'm starting out, need to learn my own way, cool. But what about 2 and 3? And let's not bother with all the other misc money in there. So yeah, I feel gypped, dissed, screwed, passed over. It's a rotten feeling coming fom your own father. Sure, my mom won't lift a finger either, but I pegged her years ago when I had to fight tooth and nail for my OWN MONEY so I could go to my senior prom. I can only hope I learn well from my own experiences and treat my kids the way I feel I would have liked to have been treated. I've seen the spectrum where your kids get anything and walk all over you. I live with it now. I hate it. It's rude, distasteful, and completely wrong. I also feel that there could have been certain cases where things could have been handled differently in what I did experience. Of course, that's from my POV alone... So to current events. I bought a new Router today, replacing the one bought 2 years 9 months ago. I've been having dumb net issues, and we're pretty sure it was the router, so BOOM! Out goes old n ugly, in comes new streamlined superspeededed. Tomorrow morning I have my first eye exam in a good 4 years, and my first in god near 10 without my doctor, who retired 2 years ago. Odds are I'll go to LensCrafters on 46 to get both my reg glasses and sunglasses done, and get a Buffalo Chicken Wing Pizza from Pizza Hut while I'm in the area (none around here OR work to deliver). Ok. So I ranted. I had fun. Later bi-ATCHES!! Thursday, May 20, 2004
The Latest In Flashbacks
So I'm sitting around this morning finally creating a little file to have some remembrance of the most important relationship-type dates of the calendar. Obviously I started with Laurel, going through the week we spent together getting to "know each other" till the Friday the 13th we made it official, in the middle of oral joys. From there I progressed to the not-so-far-off first sex, which, being my first and all, means something to me. Jumped to the year anniversary where I gave her the promise ring at Macaroni Grill (that's right Brianne, before your blog I used to go there...) while she was in that tightass purple dress (yum). And from that point I basically jumped right over to the breakup, and the interesting epilougue that lasted nearly a year. Then there's girl #2 (wholda seen THAT comin) Kristen. Kristen, though basically worthless on a totality scale (all the money I spent and the driving I did and I couldn't get anything out of her even though she slept half the night using my inner thigh as a pillow!!) she has a bit more relevance today. Cause it was a year ago today, actually odds are almost EXACTLY TO THE MINUTE a year ago today that we broke up. Ah the memories. I fucking hate my life. Sunday, May 16, 2004
The Latest In Bored Worker Ranting
Oooo looky an update. So there I am, sitting at work, wondering "shall I ever move?" and figures start erupting on my brain. Let me tell you, erupting figures hurt like a bitch. And I've dated two of em. So I pre-ordered HALO 2 for the XBox. Now, I'm a HALO freak like many others, but even I don't pre-order games 6 months in advance. So why this one? Limited Edition baby. The limited edition 2-DVD disc set contains And, as you saw if you clicked the link, it comes in a really cool lookin tin. This fall, much like LAST fall, is aiming to be a gamer delight for me. HALO 2, Smackdown! vs RAW (the 6th PS2 WWE game), Resident Evil 4, and Devil May Cry 3 all will be arriving within the same (approx) 3 week timespan. HALO 2 will end up topping the list for me, as I have been told I have to beat it first before David will join up for co-op action. And I love me some 2-player asskickin. J.D. (my dog) went to the vet Friday. Was there 10 minutes, had 1 shot, blood drawn, nuts felt up, and 8 months of heartworm medication and it cost me $147. And barring hellacious job issues (meaning I won't even TRY till August or September) I may actually move by the end of the year! It's hard to say for sure. I want to, and I'm managing my money a tad better, but it's nowhere NEAR perfect. Besides, it's a safe bet to go after a newer and in-better-condition truck first, so I don't get screwed as bad once I leave. Next Friday David has decreed we shall Hooters. Titty. Titty titty. Ya see, black people can be rich, but only white people can be wealthy. Maybe there would be more black people with money if they didn't spend it all on rims. Black people LOOOVE their rims. Car be a piece of shit, but gotta have them rims. A black man would put rims on a toaster if he could. "My raisin toast is sittin' on 22's. 22's bitch! And they spinnin! They spinnin nigga! They spinnin!" Monday, May 03, 2004
The Latest In Bored Worker Ranting
Just over a month, and I recall I should post. The whole "dead man swingin" thing went through ok. They cleared it all up, kept everyone pretty calm, and so on. Me, I was fine, since I saw nothin. The security guy (who found him) and the other auditor (that I sent up there) took the next day off. Fredy has found his way here again! Fredy! You know I miss ya ya fuckin pussy! You need to get your ass outta AmeriSuites man... David has no woman. We cry for David. On a related note, I got my second trip to Hooters. Our waitress pulled out all the stops for a good tip, including hovering by the fat man (me) and eventually bring out a baby. It was weird. Better bodies the first time though, I think. Thanks to David, I'm partially collecting comics again. It's pissing me off. I mean, I don't even know who the hell the LAST Supergirl is/was, and now they just brought in ANOTHER one. Where'd the other one go? Why do they feel the need to go back to the blonde? I dunno. Oh, and we're gonna get Robin #4 soon. And she'll be a chick... Hal Jordan is supposed to come back as GL, which annoys me and has prompted me to go collect the 6 issue GL arc out right now that is supposedly ending the GL series for Kyle. My truck is still a piece of shit. All I want is a decent vehicle and a place to live with good wiring and allowance for my dog. Why's this shit so hard? Oh yeah, and a big tittied redhead. Before you go, enjoy the near-quote from Chris Rock's latest HBO special. Ya see, black people can be rich, but only white people can be wealthy. Ya know why? Cause of rims. Black people LOOOVE their rims. Car be a piece of shit, but gotta have them rims. A black man would put rims on a toaster if he could. "My raisin toast is sittin' on 22's. And they spinnin! They spinnin nigga! They spinnin! |
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